Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Have I waited long enough, Doc?

I have written here several times about my concerns for my middle boy, my whirlwind, my three-foot bundle of mischief, my Eighty-Eight Fingers. Never fear, trouble will find him wherever he goes. Just see my last post to update yourself to his latest antics.

So you can imagine my dread at seeing the school's phone number on my caller ID today. Of course it was his teacher. Of course there was another bus write-up (the to-school bus this time just to switch it up a bit) where he apparently scratched another child and left a mark. Of course he has also been showing signs of impulsivity in class including trouble waiting his turn, keeping on task, etc. Of course, none of this is surprising to me.

Very troubling to learn he is injuring kids in his ferocious joviality--for that is what it is to him. Around other kids in an unstructured environment he becomes almost manic in his playfulness, every time. He isn't violent--simply easily overstimulated and can't stop himself, loses control. He is really a smart, sweet kid. But it is like he has no volume dial, no gears, no off switch. He is either awake and full speed or asleep and off. And this world--his world is not equipped to handle that.

So I did the thing I have been dreading, yet I have known is inevitable. I agreed with his teacher to set up the meeting and go forward with the testing for ADHD. I called his pediatrician and she concurred. Do it now. As soon as possible, she said. Then make a follow-up appointment with her to discuss possible medications.

My heart is overwhelmed with sorrow for the boy, dread for him of the challenges he will face, fear for his future. I think this is the right thing, but I feel so uncertain. I mean the poor boy is constantly in trouble: EEF Sit down, EEF settle down, EEF slow down, EEF don't touch that, EEF don't do that, etc. That can't be good for his self-image. And he certainly can't be getting so overwhelmed that he is hurting other kids. Absolutely not. But I am so not sure of setting him on the path of labels and medication and psych evals at five years old, sentencing him to a life long struggle. It just seems so tragic. And it is my job--his mother--to impose this sentence, for I have no doubt what the outcome of the testing will conclude. It is a hard pill to swallow (no pun intended) for my boy and myself.


Blogger Sheri said...

It's hard to go through anything with regards to our children's health. My online friend at http://crazycatwoman.blogspot.com/ is going this now as well.

Warm, tight hugs to you all.

28 November, 2006 18:17  
Blogger Suz said...

I remember the constant reminders and the feeling of being different when I was a kid. I'm glad that you're getting him some help.

29 November, 2006 06:12  
Anonymous Susan said...

I know this is a very difficult time. Please know that I am thinking of you and EEF and hoping for a resolution you can both be comfortable with.

29 November, 2006 08:03  
Blogger ccw said...

Since you read my blog, you have seen that your feelings are completely normal. An ADHD diagnosis can be a relief and a nightmare. It's hard to think of your child as not being perfect, having an illness that very well could last a lifetime, and dealing with the stigmas that can be attached.

As soon as I read the testing questions I knew that there was no way Kid L would come away without an ADHD diagnosis. All 5 people who filled out the assessments rated her as very high inattentive and mildly hyper.

Several people recommended the book "Driven to Distraction" when we were first going through this process. It is an excellent book.

I wish you thr best of luck as you move through the testing and decision making.

29 November, 2006 08:08  
Blogger HomeFireBlue said...

I'm very interested to hear the outcome of this. I hope you and EEF find a solution.

As you kow my oldest is just a tad younger than EEF and though I certainly wouldn't call him impulsive or hyper, he's not yet been exposed to the stimulation of school. (and also I'm his mum, I'm used to him)

How do they differentiate between ADHD hyper and inattentive and just-being-five hyper and inattentive?

Big hugs and much luck to you both!


30 November, 2006 10:07  
Anonymous sherry said...

I have no wise words...just know that I'm wishing you through all of the muck.

01 December, 2006 14:44  
Anonymous wolfbaby said...

There are some really good books out there so taht you don't have to go the med routes. It is all about preventive measures. THink ahead to what you know could be a possible problem and head them off at the pass. My hubs is ADHD and we think my oldest daughter is as well. I won't put her on meds, not ever, they have to many side effect etc. But there are behaviorl theorpies that make a world of difference. What matters is that you make a decision you are comfortable with and that works for you and your kids. Those books are excellant tools to let you know your rights as a parent in the school system as well as preventive measures. Good luck with this!!!

08 December, 2006 20:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If he truly has ADHD and you get him help, the end result will give you a very happy content kid. Then you will know you did the right thing for him and the hard times are worth the effort.

Wild about Doll Houses

10 January, 2007 06:50  

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