a teaser and some randomness

What is going on in my life today? (Please forgive the typos, run on sentences, and any other grammar faux pas...I have only minutes to write this before my brain self-destructs.)

1) My family is insane. Certifiable. The most current example of that insanity is a story that deserves its own space and when I ever am able to stop and breathe I will write about the House that Unkie Lost, and the Money--the hundreds of thousands of dollars, and Putting Granny Out on the Street...To Be Continued. I know: you are riveted. My dysfunctional family is a constant source of amusement to me, and soon I will share the wealth (of amusement that is, because the money is gone baby gone). I promise.

2) We had the second day of Feller preschool today. Last week Boompas was the *naughty one* asserting his independence by not wanting to pick up toys or cooperate for story time (the only screaming child in the room full of children when I came to pick them up) and Stink was the Star, the Cute One. So today they had to switch it up: Stink was screaming and uncooperative and Boompas the Star. You know: just so you don't confuse them. Did I mention that both times one of my darlings was the only kid in the room screaming his head off? I guess they like to stand out in a crowd. And the Mommy and Me Time that I get to (ahem: Read: Have To—KIDDING!!!) spend with Eighty-Eight Fingers? Well, let me tell you that is going just swimmingly. First of all, I have not done my homework on what to do and where to take a kid to entertain him for 1.5 hours (especially when it is the coldest day of the year like last week) on that side of town. Last week we spent the whole time driving around town trying to find a library or restaurant with an indoor playground or something--Anything!-- to do. Today we spent only about 15 minutes on the playground when EEF started jumping up and down because he Had to Poop NOW!! even though I took him to the bathroom at the Fellers' preschool right before we left--and by the size of the log he left in the toilet, the was no way it wasn't knocking on his back door at that time. So yes, we spent Mommy and Me Time dealing with the Poop Problem. So much fun.

3) Tomorrow I begin my fab new job with a scintillating three-hour general orientation. Yes, I am wondering what in the bloody hell they can go on about for three bloody hours. Because it is an Elite, Exclusive club, do they give us a lesson in manners--all Yes Sirs and No Ma'ams and where to set the salad fork? Oh, and for this grand spectacle of an orientation, we cannot wear jeans or loungewear (my typical uniform). No, we will be seen during the Tour so we must be all scrubbed up. I don't remember the last time I was all gussied up before noon...Is it a bad omen that I am knocking my new employer and I haven't even clocked and hour there yet?