Monday, September 11, 2006

Battle of Shoe Hill



Maybe I am hardheaded or a slow learner or merely perpetually in a mental fog because I somehow managed to forget one of the Cardinal Rules of Parenting (Multiple Children Edition--written specifically for small children of similar age in one household). "Oh, which rule is that," you may ask? It is the rule written to stomp out fighting and sibling rivalry before it ever has a chance to rear its ugly head. It is the rule written to ensure peace and serenity, at least of this one desired, coveted, fabulous (at least in the children's wee minds) object. It is the rule: Buy One of Same Item for Everyone. Somehow, during the prolonged stress and battle fatigue school shopping induced, I forgot this lifesaving rule. I foolishly purchased Spiderman light-up shoes only for the child entering school--Eighty-Eight Fingers. The battle that ensued over this very tragic strategic blunder on my part included wailing, shrieking, gnashing of teeth. Thunderous battles cries of "Mine, Mine, MIIIIIINNNNEEEE!!!" echoed throughout the house. Children flung themselves in the path of the very proud villain and owner of said shoes (EEF--he was so loving having a Desired Object!). The Feller Factor beat at him with tiny fists of rage. He beat back, maniacly laughing with glee:after all, He--the Supreme EEF possessed the Desired Object. Victory was sure to be his! Nothing could thwart his evil plans!

Guess who had to haul her ass back to the evil retailer Wal-Mart and obtain two additional pairs of Desired Object Spiderman Light-Up Shoes--Stat!

Now our home is all peace and tranquility. The children's laughter is like the tinkling of wind chimes in a light summer breeze. Everyone loves and adores the Ultimate Ruler Mom for her prompt rectifying of this most grievous situation.

And if you believe all that I have a bridge to sell you...

The truth is, they just find something else to fight over--about twenty times a minute. But at least it is not Spider Man Light-Up Shoes.

3 Comments:

Blogger Suz said...

Ha ha ha ha ha! Since I'm the oldest of two, I anticipate that I'll forget this rule numerous times and be running back to WalMark in perpetuity. My husband, however, the youngest of four (ie: the one who never got the spiderman light up shoes) will never let me forget it.

11 September, 2006 09:53  
Anonymous wolfbaby said...

LOL... it dosn't matter in my house.. because cookie monster says it is ALL hers... *sigh*

11 September, 2006 13:58  
Anonymous LynnElizabeth said...

Lucky for you Wal-Mart had two other pairs of the shoes. Can you imagine the infamy that would have resulted in said shoes being sold out?

11 September, 2006 14:12  

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