Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I know it's almost Mother's Day, but...

I wanted to take a minute to recognize someone very important to me, who makes my life as a SAHM possible, who is a key factor in my happiness and ability to survive with my sanity (mostly, I think, but who am I to judge) in tact. I want to recognize my husband.

I know my job here with these three (the little boys) to five (when the teens are home, too) kids home at any given time is hard work and, no doubt about it, stressful. People are amazed that I am able to do it so patiently and without completely melting down into a babbling pile of mush (trust me, I have my moments). And it is true. Overall, I am basically happy. By happy I do not mean permagrin plastered to my face, but an overall general sense of well-being. Because of this I am able to be patient with my kids and get things done around the house without being overwhelmed. Many wonder, what's her secret? How does she do it?

Let's examine for a minute the source of my happieness. Sure, my kids bring me joy, definately. But I think the true foundation from which I am able to enjoy this life is the relationship I have with my husband. Don't laugh! I am not being cheesey here. I really mean it. The man is amazing and wonderful. Of course, there are the initial attributes I was attracted to: his athletic physique, his smile, his eyes. He is soooo sexy. Then there is his sense of humor that is similar to mine. He is clever, smart, funny. He can write, loves writing, and is working on writing a novel (I think this alone won me over more than anything as I am a novel addict). Those things attracted me to him and created the foundation from which the relationship sprouted. What makes this relationship keep ticking is our our respect for each other as people, as partners. That is our greatest strength.

We made the decision for me to stay home together after much discussion of our options when we found out twins were on the way. He respects that it was not an easy decision on my part, (ending my career, trusting him completely to the finances when I have always been so independent). He respects and appreciates the work I do here, maintaining the house (OK, so this place is one step from being a dump most days, but I do my best!) and raising and maintaining the kids. Nor was it easy for him to take on complete financial responsibility. To make it work we devised a bargain, a partnership, where duties and responsibilities are split in a way that we both perceive as fair and equitable.

My husband works very hard on his end of our bargain. He is a full-time teacher, a coach, and works part-time as a substitute journeyman skilled laboror. Sometimes he works third shift after working all day at his "real" job, comes home, sleeps for a few hours, and muddles through the rest of the day in a haze. Sometimes, he works all day at his "real" job, coaches until late at night, then stops at the store for emergency purchases for the house. Any way you look at it, he is always working to meet our needs, without any complaints (well, not too many, anyway).

We get bye. We don't have a lot of fancy belongings, no plasma TV or high-end stereo system. Hell, we don't even have matching silverware, glasses or plates. But what we do have is respect for one another, gratitude for what each contributes, a true partnership. Because we each maintain our ends of the bargain, because we have respect for each other, our friendship strengthens and grows over time and our relationship is strong. Because I have a strong relationship, my mind is at ease, and I am able to cope well at my "job". I couldn't imagine this working with just anyone. So I want to thank my husband for making it possible for me to happily enjoy raising these "hellions" of ours.


Blogger Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I think this is a great post. I feel the same way about my husband.

10 May, 2006 13:20  

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